Friend Or Fiend?

 The job of a parent is in no way an easy task. The responsibility involved in bringing another human into the world — raising it, teaching it values, caring for it —can often seem an overwhelming mission. So, if you, when the parenting time comes, feel apprehensive about undertaking such a responsibility, or want to feel better about your own parenting skills, look no further than Joyce Carol Oates “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?”. Ironically, the title of the story happens to be the exact questions the parents of Connie, our protagonist, never seem to be concerned with asking. And, this is just the beginning of their parenting fails. 

A child’s actions and beliefs tend to be a reflection of those of their parents. Thus, Connie’s narcism and emphasis on the importance of beauty stems from her mother’s own superficiality. Despite the constant tension between Connie and her mother, Connie is convinced “her mother really prefers her over her…sister…because she [Connie]  is prettier” (Wegs 101). From her mother, Connie learns “real value lies in beauty” (Wegs 101). With this view, Connie is interested in only the glamorous and is consequently obsessed with how she looks. She had a “habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors…to make sure her own was all right” (Oates 1). Later, when she would meet Arnold Friend, her allure towards the glamorous and flashy: the golden jalopy, reflective sunglasses, dazzling smile, would make her slow to see just how dangerous this stranger was. 

While Connie’s mother was the embodiment of a bad role model, Connie’s father provided no guidance at all. He went to work, came home, ate dinner, went to bed. He “didn’t bother talking to them much”, and definitely took very little interest in Connie’s whereabouts (Oates 1). Further, since “none of them bothered with church”, Connie lacked adequate moral guidance in the absence of parental guidance. Thus, she turned towards pop culture. The values in the music she listened to, and the movies she watched became her own values. Connie, as a naive and abandoned youth, is then taught to believe in romantic love and youthful beauty, which only adds to her superficial views.

Connie’s incorrect views reach a critical point when instead of perceiving Arnold Friend as a threat, she views him as the “embodiment of the teenage ideals celebrated in pop songs” (Oates 102). Connie’s only roadmap of life, the fantasy worlds she sees on the screen, leads her astray because she has only ever seen life through rose-tinted glasses. Further analysis of the story, albeit perhaps far-fetched, suggests the lack of moral guidance in Connie’s life, whether religious or folk-related, causes her to be unfamiliar with demonic or evil manifestations, and thus, fails to recognize the wolf in sheep’s clothing, or rather, the fiend impersonating a friend. 

Works Cited:

Oates, Joyce Carol. “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” New Brunswick: RutgersUniversity Press, 2002. Print.

Wegs, Joyce M. “’Don’t You Know Who I Am?’: The Grotesque in Oate’s ‘Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?’” Journal of Narrative Technique 5, 1995. Print.